AmeriCone Dream...Now Available in the Mt. Kisco A&P

A few days ago, while at the local A&P, I decided to buy some ice cream. I almost dropped everything in my basket when I saw that there were CARTONS of AmeriCone Dream ice cream in the freezer aisle.

It is my most favoritest ice cream flavor because it is vanilla with caramel swirls and crunch chocolate-covered waffle cone pieces. I agree with Stephen Colbert that it is: "The sweet taste of liberty in your mouth."

I have never seen this ice cream in a supermarket freezer. I know it's not a big deal because there is a Ben & Jerry's store just two miles down the road from the supermarket, but isn't it great when you don't have to make that extra special trip? You can pick up your cilantro, sour cream, tomatoes, AND the best ice cream in the world all in one location.

Proceeds from this ice cream goes to help disadvantaged kids, so I'm glad that someone else is also going to benefit from my eating.

Previously On Passions...

A few days ago, as I was perusing my mother-in-law's TV Guide during our weekly visit, I came across this soap opera update:

Tabitha and Kay were forced to use magic to combat Demon Elf. Vincent's wig fell off while making love with his daddy--now that he's exposed he has to kill both parents.

Huh?

Linguine With Peanut Sauce

I made this dish today for Peter and my sister Judy, who visited us this weekend.

Peanut Sauce

1/2 cup peanut butter
1/3 vegetable broth
2 teaspoons agave nectar (you can use honey)
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
1 tablespoon sesame oil
2 cloves garlic minced
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 chopped scallions
1 box of linguine

First boil water in a pot and put in the linguine. Then heat up the garlic in the olive oil in a separate saute pan until fragrant and softened, then add all the other ingredients and whisk. Then incorporate the linguine - add some of the pasta water in the sauce if it is too thick. Serve! Garnish with scallions.

Water Main Break Courtesy of The Mt. Kisco Library...Again

This morning, while I was brushing copious amounts of dog hair from the Husky, Peter calls me into the hallway and says, "Why is our washing machine hissing at me?"

Worried, I told him to turn it on and see if it stops. He quickly touches some knobs and takes his hands away without turning the machine on.

I asked him, "Do you even know HOW to turn on the washing machine?"

"No," he said. "I guess I don't."

"So all those times you offered to do laundry, you didn't even know how to turn on the machine?"

Family Conundrum

When I first started to date Peter, I understood that he had a very tenuous relationship with all the members of his family. Some of this has to do with the fact that he is the youngest child. After all, he was twenty-five years younger than his eldest sibling, and seven years younger than his next youngest sibling. Four of his nephews and nieces are older than I am. So by the time he was aware, a lot of family drama had already happened.

This happens in a much smaller scale in my house, and since I'm the eldest, I feel that I've been there since the very beginning. After all, my parents had me about a year after they were married, so I've been a member of the family almost from the very start. My sister Jenny doesn't feel this way, sometimes she feels like someone stumbling into the middle of a party.

Let's just say that Peter's family do not get along with each other. I think a large part of that has to do with the fact that there wasn't a lot of nurturing going on in that household. There's a lot of resentment that the eldest two children have towards the younger two stemming from the fact that Peter's parents were better parents to the younger ones. My parents are a thousand times better parents to my sisters than they were to me. When I think back on my childhood, it wasn't a very happy one. My father had a lot of pent-up rage and frustration and took them out on me and my mother stood by and watched it happen. I still remember the terror of hearing the garage door opening, knowing that my father had come home from work. Even today, I cannot hear that sound without feeling apprehension and fear.

I'm glad that my parents learned and grew as parents and it was very healing to me to see the relationships they have built with their two younger children. And in a way, I will always feel that they are part of one family, and I am part of another, one that doesn't exist anymore.

These feelings of family are coming up because Peter's nephew is getting married and Peter is not sure if he wants to attend. Peter's eldest sister did not attend our wedding and not one person from her family attended Peter's father's funeral. No one came to my bridal shower, not even his mother. These are people who have never been happy for Peter when he had joyous moments in his life, and people who seem to revel in times when he's had hardships. Knowing that these people really don't care for him, he doesn't see the point in attending this wedding. The only reason to go would be to continue this relationship, and he's not sure he ever wants to see these people again.

My personal opinion is that the easiest thing to do is to attend the wedding since his nephew did come to our wedding. Is this issue between Peter and his nephew? Or between Peter and his sister? Peter thinks that his sister doesn't deserve to have her whole family attend her son's wedding after her unpardonable behavior these last few years. No matter what terrible things she thinks he did, there isn't any reason for her actions.

But on the other hand, if he has no intention of ever having any sort of relationship with these people, what would be the point? Does it really matter how he appears to people he wants to avoid in the future? At what point do you give up on your family members?

Christmas Puppies Everywhere!

I think a lot of people got puppies for Christmas this year, because I've seen a lot of puppies running around Westchester the last few weeks. It makes me nostalgic for the time when Scout and Rocky were puppies. It's funny when I look back, that I just remember the good times and how cute they were the first time they took those first tentative steps down a flight of stairs.

Scout was a Cr-A-Zy puppy. She used to do this thing, we called it her swimming run. Her paws would fly out on either side so fast that it looked like she was swimming. And she would run back and forth throughout the length of my very long hallway over and over and over and over without tiring.

Scout was a terror to housebreak. I mean, she just could not hold it in. Rocky was house trained in like two seconds. I think someone up there took pity on us having to go through the stage of Scout's explosive diarrhea.

One time when Scout was only a few months old, in the middle of the night I woke up to the most hideous smell in all the world. And when I looked over at Scout, she had that sad, pitiful look on her face. A face that just makes you want to pull your heart out of your chest. And I looked over at the poop which...had two of my socks on it.

After Scout pooped, she must have looked at her pile of poop and thought to herself, "Oh no! How can I hide this?"

She looked around and found socks that I had left on the floor and took one and put it on top of the poop. She stepped back and thought, "Hmmm. I don't think that's enough coverage."

She then took another sock and placed that one on top of her poop. Y'know, because THAT hides the damage much more.

That noggin of hers is constantly working.

Rocky Has a Drinking Problem

Because it has been so fuh-reezing freakin' cold, we have been trying to "push it" every other day and taking the dogs out 5 times every two days. To do this, we've been limiting the dog water intake by not leaving water out all the time.

Unfortunately, Rocky has always liked to drink tremendous amounts of water. As a puppy, the first time we took him to a dog park, all he did was sit by the water fountain and lap up water. We looked like idiots trying to shoo him away from the water every five seconds.

We were trying to get him to run around and play with other dogs, and he was all like, "Why play with other dogs? There's an endless supply of water here! An Endless Supply!!!!"

A girl at the park looked at him and said:

"Good God, that dog has a drinking problem!"

This happened right before we got into the car and drove from Chicago to New York and he continuously peed in the car all the way to Ohio. Luckily, the pee was so watered down it didn't stain or leave any bad odors. But it was a nerve-wracking ride nonetheless.

I think we've created a monster here, because now, whenever we put water out for the dogs after their meal, Rocky drinks his bowl and Scout's bowl, and then nudges us with his wet nose to take him out three hours later. So this whole trying to take the dogs five times every two days is really not working. I guess we're being punished for being lazy and now I broke my dog.

Checking on the Space-Time Continuum

Last night my father called me to see how I was doing. This may not seem strange in the world of other normal people, but my father. Does. Not. Call. Ever.

In fact, every time I call home, he immediately hands the phone over to my mom. I didn't even know he had my phone number.

So last night, I'm standing in my kitchen asking him why he was calling, and he said, "I haven't heard from you in a while, and I was just wondering what you were up to."

This from a man whose policy with his children is: Don't Ask. Don't Tell.

This is a policy I am very comfortable with. I've never understood people who felt like they needed to be best friends with their kids. Your kids have friends. They need parents. I like to think that my father feels that he's instilled me with a way to navigate the world and to make my own decisions, and that's why he doesn't need to touch base too often. Or, it could be laziness.

When I used to travel abroad, he used to say, "Just call if something bad happens. If everything's okay, don't bother. So if I don't hear from you, I'll just figure you're having a good time."

This is very unlike Peter's mother, who calls almost every day we're on a vacation, just to make sure that, yes, oxygen is being breathed in and carbon dioxide is, in fact, being expelled out...as we speak.

Advice From Tim Gunn

Tonight on Project Runway, Tim Gunn gave this advice to Chris.

When you first enter into the monkey house at the zoo you think, "Oh my God this place stinks!" And after you're there for twenty minutes you think, "It's not so bad..." And after you're there for an hour, "It doesn't smell at all!"

But anybody else coming into the monkey house, freshly, thinks, "Oh my GOD this STINKS!"

You've been LIVING in the MONKEY HOUSE!

I asked Peter, "Do you think this advice would work with your clients?"

Goin' Cross Country...Maybe

Peter and I may be taking a road trip to Los Angeles to pick up an old guitar that is at his friend's house. The reason we're taking a road trip is that Peter doesn't want to check the guitar on the plane. Plus we hate to fly. But I've always wanted to drive cross-country.

I'm doing some research on what spots to hit along the way. Right now I'd like to stop in Chicago, Denver, Bryce Canyons, Las Vegas, and The Grand Canyon.

Any suggestions or tips would be really helpful.

A Little Fonduddy

After our experience at The Melting Pot, Peter and I decided to try to make fondue at home using the fondue pot we got at our engagement party...about three-and-a-half years ago. Yes, finally putting that to good use. Now if only someone fancy would visit us, we could break out the Wedgewood Crystal still in their boxes.

We tried this recipe from All Recipes and what we got was a clump o' mess in a vat of white wine. It was a clump of delicious mess, but did not get nice and creamy like a real fondue. I think it may be because we used Jarlsberg Lite Cheese instead of Swiss. Y'know, because we're watching our weight while eating a huge vat of melted cheese.

I might try this again with other cheeses or maybe use a different recipe, because no matter how much I was whippin' that cheese, it would not melt. It would kind of melt when you whipped it, but then once you stopped for one second because your arm felt like it was going to fall off, it turned back into its clumpy old self.

Peter called it Molten Terminator Cheese.

At one point, Peter got a bit of semi-melted cheese on his piece of bread and it was stringing everywhere, so I said, "Here, let me help you with that." I took my fondue skewer and grabbed at this tiny piece of stringy cheese. But because the cheese on the bread had already cooled off, when I pulled at the sting, it brought the whole thing back down and plopped back into the pot.

I cannot relate how funny this was, but even now whenever Peter says, "Here, let me help you with that," it CRACKS ME UP.

Famous Vegetarians

A lot of people happen to stumble onto my site looking to see if Heath Ledger was vegetarian or if Brad Pitt is vegetarian. So I will do my public duty and inform you that Brad Pitt is indeed a vegetarian. Which means that he has yet another thing in common with Peter (along with international fame).

Here are a list of famous vegetarians from happycow.net, which has saved us, on several occasions traveling throughout this vast country of ours, from eating at the local Taco Bell.

I had not known that Aristotle was a vegetarian, as is Elvira Mistress of the Dark (isn't she a vampire?), JD Salinger, Vincent Van Gogh, and of course, our good friend Jesus Christ.

But then why didn't he miraculously create a huge pot of vegetarian chili instead of all those fish?

Eric Bana - Movie Ruiner

I don't understand how Eric Bana keeps getting roles. My sister calls him the Movie-Ruiner, since not one movie he has been in has been worth seeing.

I am very excited to see the new Eric Bana movie, "The Other Boleyn Girl." But since he plays the king, it's probably going to be terrible.

Munich - Terrible
Troy - Bad
Hulk - Embarrassing

Has anyone ever seen a good Eric Bana movie?

Let's Call Fondue Fun-due!

We got this coupon in the mail for a new fondue place that opened up in White Plains called The Melting Pot, so we decided to check it out yesterday. Usually Peter tells me to throw these coupons out, but just say the word "Fondue!" and he's all, "Let's GO!"

When we were seated, I cracked open the menu and got completely confused. It's set up with three different priced meals and a whole bunch of options. So I asked the waitress about a zillion questions, such as, "If I get the Big Night Out Meal, I can substitute any of the fondues for the ones on the ala carte menu? And if that's the case, and my husband's a vegetarian, how would we share? Also, I'd like to order to four-course meal, but I have an issue with feta, so can I get a different salad?"

Every time we go to a restaurant and I ask the waitress a question other than,"May I have a Coca-Cola?" Peter starts to roll his eyes and make annoyed noises. He started to do this, so I asked him if he understood the menu. He said yes and told me to leave our poor waitress alone.

So after she left, I asked him my questions and he didn't know any of the answers. And then, he admitted, "Yeah, this menu is not very intuitive."

So why didn't you let me ask the lady my questions?

This happens every time. Peter always gets antsy when he thinks I'm bothering waitstaff, but I used to work at my dad's restaurant, and I never had a problem answering people's questions. Because you want to make sure that people understand what they're getting.

But Peter is a failed waiter (after getting fired the first day) and doesn't understand that the waitstaff is paid to know the menu backwards and forwards, and they are aware that when a person takes up their time, they will get compensated in the size of their tip.

We finally figured out what the heck the menu meant and hunkered down to one of the longest meals in the history of long meals. The whole thing took about three hours!!

Figuring out the menu took half-an-hour. The first course was this great cheese fondue, which was out-of-this-world. But between heating up the fondue pot and the waitress preparing the whole thing in front of us, it took about another hour to finish that course. Then we got a salad, which was incredibly yummy. And THEN, we had to wait for the broth fondue to heat up and cook our food ourselves, so that took ANOTHER hour. Finally, it was on to dessert, which was a chocolate fondue.

By the time the meal was done, we had been eating for three hours. Peter said:

"Wow, this meal was an INVESTMENT OF TIME."

Yeah, about the best investment of time I made all day!

Hateful and Spiteful Mother-in-Law

A few weeks ago, I spied a delicious box of chocolate-covered wafers in my mother's pantry and I asked if I could have them. I told her that I would give them to my mother-in-law because that was the only way to con her into giving them to me. It was a HUGE box, that probably had at least 100 cookies in it.

In the car, I told Peter that this was all a ploy to get the cookies. My sister agreed that my mother would only give me the chocolates if I wasn't going to eat them (because she thinks we need to lose a few pounds).

The next day, Peter went to his mother's house and when I reached into the pantry for the box of cookies...they were gone! Later, Peter said that he thought I was just joking in the car.

After the initial melt-down, I told Peter to ask his mother to save some of the cookies for me, because although I would love to eat the whole box, even I know that this is not a good idea. He called her and she agreed to save some.

I was so happy that I was planning on driving her to Long Island (by myself) to visit her daughter (the most hateful one in the family of hatefulness) and throwing her a big surprise Mother's Day party, as well as inviting her to our home again soon.

Then yesterday, when Peter spoke to her on the telephone, she told him that she "forgot" that she had agreed to save some for me and finished them all!

This could only mean a few things:

1.) Those cookies were so delicious that she ate them all in three days (ALL the cookies!!!! - I mean, doesn't she have ANY self-control?)

2.) She is getting dementia and forgot she promised to save some for me.

3.) She is HATEFUL and SPITEFUL.

After discussing this with Peter, I irrationally said, "She didn't save ANY of them for me? Wow. She really HATES me."

I expected Peter to say something like, "No, she doesn't hate you. She just loves cookies."

But instead, he looked me straight in the eye and said. "Yeah. I think she must hate you. She would have never eaten them all if anyone else asked her to save them some. She would probably never have even opened the box."

"But doesn't she realize that I'm so upset that I'm NEVER INVITING HER TO MY HOUSE EVER AGAIN?"

"Yeah," he said. "I don't think she cares. That's how much she must hate you."

And driving to Long Island? Never happening. AND I'm not throwing someone who hates me a Mother's Day party. AND I am NOT going to EASTER DINNER.

Question of the Day

What's my favorite flower?

Uh...hmmmm...

You don't remember do you?

Sure I do. It's uhhmm...parsni...persimm...it's got this really long and unusual name.

Long and unusual? Something like pink peonies?

That's it! Pink Peonies.

Yah, right.

The Same Old Valentine's Day

My sister called up and asked Peter what we were doing on Valentine's Day and he said, "Same thing we do every year."

When my sister asked him what that was, he said, "Nothing."

Then she told us a story about going to the mailbox with her boyfriend. When she opened the mailbox, a bunch of Fruit Roll-Ups came out of the mailbox, like when the Tic Tacs fell out of the mailbox in the movie Juno. She turned to her boyfriend and said, "Oh! That's so sweet!"

He said, "This wasn't me."

And then he looked really sad about it. We think that it was one of his friends playing a prank on him. But Jenny thinks that it may be someone else doing this to random girls on campus.

"But it can't be random," I told her. "This person has to know you love Fruit Roll-Ups."

"But everyone loves Fruit Roll-ups," she said.

"Uh. No. They're gross."

"Really? I thought EVERYBODY loved them."

If by everybody, she means everybody who loves to put partially hydrogenated oils and Red #4 into their balanced diet.

And You Do Not Want A Very Expensive Towed

The other day someone in this complex got his car towed. Each parking spot here is assigned except for the guest spots, and people around here are just chomping at the bit to have someone towed. This is great sport in the complex and everyone stands around outside watching the tow trucks come by with their yellow lights dancing and they don't go back inside until the car has been dispatched down the ramp.

A few years ago Peter and I visited Chicago and went to a fancy event for the Cambodian Association. Throughout the evening, a lady went up to the microphone and said:

If you are parked in an illegal parking spot, you will be towed. And you do not want to pay for a very expensive towed. (Of course, this sounds like "expensive toad")

So now, every time someone gets towed, Peter says, "Someone is going to pay for a very expensive towed."

Superbowl Pre-game Sillyness

Did anyone catch the weird pre-game Patriots skit which involved the Founding Fathers as they sat around talking about the Declaration of Independence? I was all like, when is Paul Bunyan coming out to represent the Giants? And then when they trotted out Thomas Jefferson, I thought, "Oh No You DIDN'T!" (Y'know, cuz he would totally be a Redskins fan).

I'm sure that when the founding fathers came up with the idea for this nation, it was all to pave the way for the creation of the NFL. And Thomas Jefferson totally wrote the Declaration of Independence to be recited before the Superbowl.

Totally.

Parking Spot Controversy = Solved!

After about three months with no response from the management company or our condo board about our parking spot situation, I emailed "Lazy Lady" who works for the management company. Of course, she completely ignored my emails, so after about half-a-dozen emails from me, Peter called her up.

Over the telephone, Lazy Lady let it slip that the board "was not doing anything" about the situation. Peter informed her that during the board meeting the condo president said that this was an "inequitable situation" and that something would definitely be done about it. Peter asked Lazy Lady for a copy of the board minutes.

I guess asking for the board minutes really got her going, and before we knew it, I received an email from the board president and he told me that he was INCENSED. Apparently, the board had decided the day of their meeting that something will be done to increase the size of our parking spot. He was upset that no one from the management company told us about this.

The funny thing is that Lazy Lady is also a bit Not-So-Smart. She forwarded my email, which stated that she IGNORED MY NUMEROUS PREVIOUS EMAILS. I mean, I would NEVER forward an email to my boss that exposed the fact that I IGNORED CUSTOMER EMAILS.

The solution I was offering was to re-paint the lines from the guest spots so that they would be a bit smaller and we could have a spot that is bigger. What they did was tear off part of the sidewalk and move our neighbor's spot over, cover the ripped out sidewalk with tar (but didn't pave the tar over so now it's all bumpy and ugly).

My neighbor has hated us since the day we moved in, when our moving truck hit her car. Plus, we have two dogs and I'm up at all hours of the night. And now her parking spot got messed with. I think she's going t'be MAD!

But now our spot is BIGGER! Yay! Now we can actually (gasp!) open our car doors!