A Strange New Growth

Married people share a lot of things, and one of those things requires having your spouse check out something on your body that you can't really see, and give you their opinion on it.

Many such conversations in our house start out with:

Me: Is that a mosquito bite, or a pimple?

Me: Is that a pimple or an ingrown hair?

Me: Is that an ingrown hair or a tumor?

Whenever I say, "Can you take a look at this?" Peter instantly freezes, pretends he didn't hear me, and walks slowly out of the room. Much the way Rocky, the Siberian Husky, acts when he sees me heading toward him with the doghair brush.

Today Peter said, "I have a bump in my mouth."

Me: So floss!

Peter: I did NOT say I had something in MY TEETH. I SAID I had something in MY MOUTH. I think it's some sort of bump.

So we go into the bathroom where the light is better, and he uses his fingers to hold his upper lips and gets down on bended knee so I can see. And even though he's in this ridiculously precarious position, I crack up and say, "Of course I'll marry you!"

He starts laughing and said, "I was going to say 'Whii yuh mawrrehh meh'?"

When a couple gets married, the priest should really say, "Do you take this person, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, and will you check out any strange new growths that will appear on his body?"