First Names

A few weeks ago, Peter and I got into the most tremendous fight about this blog. Basically, he didn't like the fact that I wrote about his family using their first names - case in point - Easter dinner.

I felt that this was ridiculous, since I've only got about twenty people who read my blog regularly. And you all know who you are... I am hardly Perez Hilton so I think that his family members are pretty safe from exposure-by-internet.

And yes, I did write their first names, but it's not like they have original one-of-a-kind names like Suri Cruise or Pax Jolie-Pitt. Their names are hobodinky regular names like Joe. There are probably about a million Joe's in the Tri-State area alone.

Every person in Westchester has a brother-in-law named Joe.

He suggested that I come up with pseudonyms, and I was all, "What am I supposed to do? Keep a log of all the fake names I come up with and keep a glossary of fake names I gave the real people who are NEVER GOING TO READ THIS BLOG EVER?" I mean, I have better things to do with my time and energy...like cruising the internet looking for ceramic fish umbrella stands.

But Peter felt that one day, y'know, that famous "One Day" everyone talks about, a member of his family will discover my web site and read all the posts about how awful they are, and will be VERY ANGRY.

To that, my response was, "But it's all true." My reasoning behind what I write on my blog is that if it is something I would not care for people to know, I do not share it, because I understand that this is published online, which means anyone with a computer is able to access it. Everything I write on my blog is something I would willingly share with anyone.

So that means, if you are a bitch at Easter dinner, I have every right to write about it. And creatively, I can put it in a poem, a short story, or in my case, a blog. So don't underestimate a writer with a chip on her shoulder. And you should never underestimate a writer with a chip on her shoulder who has a lot of time to kill.

So the long and the short of it is that Peter is no longer allowed to read my blog. Of course, he's going to read it anyway, but at least when he sees something he doesn't like, he can't say anything about it, because he's not even supposed to be reading it.

And I have promised to no longer write first names of anyone in his family.

Yes, this is what people who don't have children fight about. Things no one else give a crap about: Blog entries and who finished all the ice cream. Jealous anyone?