It Says STUFT!!!!

Peter and I went on a week-long trip to Florida to do some research on whether or not we want to move to St. Petersburg.

Pro: No Winter

Con: Not NYC

The most annoying thing about this trip was that we didn't pack any food for the ride back home to New York. We drove because it was such a last-minute trip during the most popular time in the year to go to Florida, so we couldn't get a reasonably priced airfare. We figured that we would just drive up and stop by a Quiznos or Panera Bread and then get to our favorite restaurant in Virginia for dinner.

What we didn't count on was that we would get stuck in crazy unbelievable traffic in Georgia so we weren't going to make that restaurant in time. Also, there are NO PANERA BREADS all the way through Georgia and the Carolinas. Also no Quiznos. The ONE TIME WE STOPPED somewhere in South Carolina, Wendy's did not have the vegetable wrap. Apparently, they have no vegetarian options in any fast food by-the-road restaurant. Even the salads are sprinkled with chicken.

Finally, at around 9pm, we hadn't found anyplace for Peter to eat so we stopped by a Taco Bell drive-thru to see what they had and this was the conversation:

Peter: What does that say for number two?

Me: Uhmm. Steak?

Peter: No. Number two further down.

Me: It says STUFT

Peter: You mean it says STEAK.

Me: NO. It says STUFT.

Peter: Steak, right?

Me: No. STUFT! STUFT! It says GRILLED STUFT BURRITO!!!!

Peter: What is that?

Me: I DON'T KNOW! I've NEVER BEEN TO TACO BELL BEFORE. Apparently, they do this to their burritos. They STUFT them!

Peter: Okay, well ask them what it is?

Me (to the window): What's in the STUFT Burrito?

Window dude: Uhm. Well, you can have chicken or steak and there's beans. And there's other things in there...uh....uhm...but I don't know how to explain it.

Me: Can we have one that doesn't have any meat in it?

Window dude: Sure.

A few minutes later, while Peter is eating his STUFT, he turns to me and says, "What is it that the guy had trouble explaining? It's beans with vegetables and melted cheese. Doesn't he ever look into one of these things?"

"Well," I said. "I think he's just used to dealing with people who order Taco Bell every day. I was just throwing him into a tailspin. But perhaps those aren't real vegetables and cheese so he didn't know exactly how to explain the polymethlsiloxane that's in the sandwich."

"I don't THINK so."