I've Heard That Many People Do This

The night before we took off for our road trip, I emptied out my DVR cache, so I watched my saved episodes of Real Simple. I fast-forwarded the brown-haired-lady segments because they are cooking segments and you can tell she NEVER cooks. The way she holds a tomato while slicing it with a knife makes me cringe because one day, she's going to lop off one of those dainty non-cooking fingers. And I feel like telling the Real Simple crew, cannot ONE PERSON go over basic knife skills before you put her ON CAMERA? If she held a knife that way in my mother's kitchen, she would be escorted out of the room.

The next segment was hosted by the guy who talks way too much. Every time someone starts saying something interesting, he interupts them with a stupid comment. (Why do I watch the show? Because even though I dislike 2/3 of the hosts, the young black girl is so awesome and I LOVE her.) This segment was all about how to prepare your house when you go on a vacation, so I paid attention.

The guy said that the one thing you should always do is lock the door, because so many people forget to do that. I turned to Peter and said, "What kind of idiot doesn't lock the door? Obviously, they were not raised in New York City."

Cut to the next day, and as we were leaving the condo, Peter turns to me and says, "You take the dogs and lock up."

I looked at him and thought, "Ha ha, very funny."

You know why this is funny? Because he had the only set of keys in his hand. The night before, we had dropped off my set at his friend's house just in case of an emergency. And this is exactly the kind of thing Peter and I joke about.

So I take out the dogs and I was planning on taking them back to the car, doing a once-over in the house before locking up (with Peter's keys), so I left the door wide open. While I take the dogs out, Peter drives the car down the hill and I assume that he has locked up, so I packed the dogs up and got into the car.

About twenty minutes later, as we are driving down the Saw Mill River Parkway, Peter turns to me and says, "You did remember to lock up, didn't you?"

I looked at him and said, "WHAAAAAT? You know you have the ONLY SET OF KEYS!"

"Why didn't you say something when I told you to lock up?"

"I thought you were JOKING!"

"Do I joke like that?"

"Yes! This is PRECISELY your type of humor!"

"Wow, we have a lot of trouble communicating."

So we drove all the way back home, and to anyone who has ever embarked on a long road trip knows, having to go back home to get something or do something is the single most demoralizing thing that can happen. And of course, I am thinking, "This is all Real Simple Guy's fault! He jinxed me!"