Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Don't Blame the Dogs!

While we were on vacation, Peter received a frantic call from his mother because her eye was itchy and it was driving her crazy. When he told her to go to her doctor, her reply was, "But I went yesterday."


On Mother's Day, he went to visit his mom and her eye looked like it had puffed into a sort of eye pus balloon at some point, and now the balloon had become deflated, so you could see all the flabby left-over eye balloon pooled around her eye. I hope I adequately described this in some sort of vivid second-hand manner, because I wasn't actually there. At the last minute, I didn't feel up to it because I was still tired from our plane ride the night before.

Even though this eye allergy flared up one week after her visit, she is convinced it is because of the dogs.

When she pet the dogs, Peter told her to wash her hands. This is something we do every day, every time we touch the dogs. She went to the bathroom and put her hands under the tap...but apparently decided not to squirt that germ-killing medium we call SOAP on her hands.

The other day, Peter asked her why she didn't put soap on her hands and her reply was that it was sheer stupidity. But then Peter pressed her further.

"Ma. When you wash your hands at your house, do you wash them with soap?"

"Every time."

"So...Why didn't you wash them with soap at our house."

"I don't know. That's why it's so stupid. I ALWAYS wash my hands with soap."

This is when I started to over-think this. I convinced myself that she didn't wash her hands because she didn't understand that the liquid in the convenient pump dispenser was soap. In fact, she might not even know that soap comes in a liquid form now because she lives in that time capsule she calls her apartment in the Bronx.

Peter said I was completely ridiculous. But I say that I will never overestimate someone who still cannot figure out that when you get into the passenger side of an automobile, you should not try to get in with your right foot first.

I don't believe that the dogs were the culprit, because allergies tend to flare up quite suddenly. I know, I experienced a case of Fries Hives at the City Limits Diner. I ate some Fries that they sprinkled some mysteriously delicious spices on and broke out in hives all over my arms INSTANTLY.

I'm convinced Peter's mother must have dropped a piece of paper on the street, picked it back up along with whatever microbes were laying about, and later, rubbed her hands all over her face and into the petri-dish she calls her eye.

So, just to be safe, I think she should stop coming to our house. I mean, I'm ONLY thinking of her HEALTH.

1 comment:

insane mama said...

Oh shit....RUN AWAY