Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Late Night Shenanigans

The other day I was taking the dogs out at three in the morning. Which is pretty normal in our household because we're up until 4am almost every other day.

One time a friend of mine who claimed to be a night owl came over our house and when he started to nod off at 2am, I complained and he said:

"I said I was a NIGHT PERSON. I never claimed to be a PRE-DAWN PERSON!!!!"

And I had to be all, "Sorry dude."

Anyway, so I am walking over to the garbage can with a plastic bag full of poop and I maneuver past all these cars that are parked along the garbage bin. I do this illegal thing where I toss the bag over the fence and it lands into the bin. The tossing over the fence is AGAINST THE CONDO ASSOCIATION RULES, but we live like rebels.

As I maneuver back out of the line of cars, I almost DIE OF A HEART ATTACK!!!!

The reason I nearly dropped dead right on the spot?

Some creepy guy with googly-eyes in parking spot #22 is talking on a cell phone and looking at me with the eyes of one of Satan's minions.

I let out a stifled scream. It was a scream that started in the back of my throat and was muffled right away by the fact that I remembered that it was 3AM IN THE MORNING and did not want to wake up everyone in Mt. Kisco.

I'm actually quite proud of my scream. In high school, my friends said it was a total Vickie-Vale-played-by-Kim-Basinger-sampled-by-Prince-in-his-Batman-song kind of scream. A genuine horror-flick scream.

Although now that I think about it, maybe I should have just let it rip because then THAT MAN'S WIFE would wake up and see whatever the hell this guy was up to. Because if you're hiding in your car talking on your cell phone in the middle of the night - you are so not living your life right.


Anna May Won't said...

he was probably talking to his drug dealer. or his girlfriend. or maybe he was on drugs while talking to his girlfriend.

plue said...

He was DEFINITELY talking to a girl (or boy) friend. Why else would you slither out of bed in the middle of the night?