I attended an adoption meeting a couple of weeks ago. We've been trying for a baby for about two years now and Peter suggested that we explore adoption. We kind of have a "if it happens, it happens" attitude about children. I have always wanted children and Peter feels that children will make us miserable...because all our friends with kids are now having marital problems that range from "We're going to a marriage counselor" and "We're kind of just roommates now" to "Yeah, he's moved out."
My home growing up was never happier than when we had an infant in the house. I don't know if I'm looking back on this with rose-colored glasses, or if things were very tough for my parents and I don't remember--although I'm pretty sure I would have noticed that at 14. Plus, if you're going to have another child, make sure that your eldest is 14 and can do most of the diaper-changing and formula-feeding.
The meeting was very eye-opening for me. Apparently there are mountains of paperwork and credit histories and background checks and home studies that must be performed to ensure that you will be able to take care of a baby who is sitting around in an orphanage with two other crib-mates with no one to care for her. But what was most incredulous to me were the fees. It will cost about thirty thousand dollars to adopt a baby from China.
When I told my friend Marisol, she said, "But you can have one of your own for practically FREE!"
The statistics are that there are about 100 international babies that need to be adopted for every home that can be provided - and yet, most people can't afford $30,000.
I can't help but feel that there are a lot of middlemen who are getting paid and agencies making a lot of cash off of people who are trying to adopt. Peter says that it kind of feels like you're buying a baby. Most people who have adopted take umbrage when people ask how much they spent, but the truth is, it does cost a lot of money.
Even though Peter is a bit worried about adding to our family, he also thinks that it would be nice to have a baby in the house. So here's to throwing those dice and taking a chance.
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2 comments:
I wish you well. Kids can be trying at times but there is nothing better as well.
As for adoption, I am adopted myself and we also adopted a child. Not from China though, locally through the CAFS.
I was told that it's almost impossible to adopt locally, as there are 100 couples for every available baby. Did you have to wait a long time?
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